


moon and the stars up above

by canniballistics



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, everything turned out better than expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 05:17:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8150399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canniballistics/pseuds/canniballistics
Summary: The more time that passes, the greater the cracks in that hope become, and after ten long, eternal minutes, it shatters, along with the silence in the air. --   If you haven't watched episode 68 and don't want to be spoiled, don't read this; wait until you're caught up!!





	1. wait for them here in my arms

**Author's Note:**

> so this took a far different turn than I meant for it to, but tbh I'm kind of glad it did. I'm gonna go ahead and blame that conversation with Grog. I also meant to post it a few days ago, and then work got in the way before I could finish it on time WHOOPS. this was also supposed to end way more open-endedly (not a word and I don't care) so I've ended this bit where it was originally intended, and included the continuation that I for some reason couldn't stop writing as a second chapter. seriously the more I wrote the harder it was to stop. choose your own adventure and pick where you want it to end!
> 
> recommended listening (and source for the title) is from Keaton Henson's [You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2fCcggNkTs).

She doesn't leave his side. 

When the dust settles and the air stills, she is still by his side, hands pressed to his chest and curled over him. Her shoulders shake, but there is no sound. A soft white light glows out from beneath her hands, but nothing happens. Over, and over again, until finally the glow stops coming. No one in the clearing moves for a minute, two. Disbelief, or plain refusal of the reality facing them. No one wants to face the truth. 

Percy isn't moving, and despite knowing he won't, there is still a fragile, fervent hope in the air. The more time that passes, the greater the cracks in that hope become, and after ten long, eternal minutes, it shatters, along with the silence in the air. 

Vex's scream echoes off of dead trees, down into the crevasse, crashes through the air like her hail of thorns piercing all of their chests. It spurs them into action, breaks them from their trances; Grog picks up his ax, slamming it into the pieces of Ripley's corpse until there is nothing human-shaped left about her. Keyleth rushes over to Percy, her own hands glowing as tears streak down her face; it only takes a moment before she starts sobbing and beating her fists against his chest, ordering him to stop playing such a bad prank. Scanlan, quick thinker that he is, manages to pull Cabal's Ruin from Ripley's shoulders before Grog ends up destroying it, too — there is a quiet meticulousness to his movements as he folds it smaller and smaller, as though this is the most important task in the world. 

Vax, for his part, has no idea what to do. He can't lay healing hands on Percy and bring him back; he doubts his Queen would come to his call for this, not when he has nothing left to barter with. There's a quiet shuffle behind him, and he whirls around, daggers ready on instinct; Kynan's eyes are wide and brimming with tears as he looks first at the daggers to his throat, and then up to meet the murderous intent in Vax's eyes. 

"I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen," he whispers, and drops to his knees, pressing his face into his hands. 

A sneer threatens to curl Vax's lip. It is far too little, far too late. But he remembers the bright-eyed boy who had camped out on their doorstep waiting for them, remembers how excited he'd been for this life. The sneer dies, and Vax's voice is simply tired when he speaks. 

"I told you, didn't I?" He shoves his daggers into their sheaths, with a bit more force than is necessary, and looks away from Kynan. Finds his eyes trailing back over to Keyleth and Vex, and some small part of him hates this poor, misguided boy for the part he played in this. "This life is not even close to all it's cracked up to be. There is pain, and heartbreak, and sorrow, and death. I would have tried to at least prepare you for it, but you broke your promise to me," and Vax can hear Kynan's breath catch when he says it. "You didn't come to us. I know that you were trying to grow stronger, but this was not the way. I know you meant well, but my friends are not so forgiving. And in this moment, I am finding it very hard to."

A low, ragged sob reaches his ears then. Vax walks away. It is all the pity he can spare at the moment. His chest feels cold, shoulders weighted as he walks around the crevasse. The glass hurts, but he doesn't care. It doesn't matter right now, and when he reaches his sister and Keyleth, he sinks down beside them. Vex is quiet now, tears no longer leaving tracks through the dirt and grime on her cheeks. Keyleth is still sobbing, though she seems to have regained at least some of her composure. She buries her face in his chest as he sits with them; Vax wraps an arm around her, pulling her close, as his other hand curls around one of Vex's. She doesn't look at him, doesn't move. It's only the smallest movement, to allow him to take one of her hands — the other stays on Percy's chest, gently cupped above his heart. 

Of all the bodies Vax has seen, none has hurt quite so much as this. Not just the fact of Percy's death, not quite; it is the absolute stillness, as well, the lack of any emotion on Vex's face as she looks down at their friend. Losing Percy hurts, but it is the knowledge that his sister's heart is gone that rivals that pain. 

A shout gains his attention, and Vax and Keyleth look up in time to see Grog backhand Kynan, something flying out of his hand a second later. The boy slumps to the ground at Scanlan's feet, and Vax can't help chuckling at seeing the gnome deliver a swift kick to his side before apparently bidding Grog pick him up. He trots a few feet away to retrieve whatever Kynan had dropped, and they make their way back to the rest of the party. Something in Scanlan's face hardens when he sees their expressions, and Vax can only offer a terse, pained smile. 

"What now?" He asks quietly, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Vex wince. 

Scanlan looks immediately to Keyleth. "Kiki. Can you use your tree teleportation spell right now?"

Hers is a broken laugh, muffled against Vax's chest. "No. Nope, I can't do anything," she says, and her voice cracks on the last word. "I've used all my spells for the day. I need to, to rest and meditate on what I want to prepare next. I've got nothing until tomorrow."

"Good," is the only thing Scanlan gets to say, before she interrupts him. 

"Good? _Good?!_ Our friend is _dead_ and none of us can help him, and that's good?!" Keyleth's tears have begun flowing anew, though this time fueled by rage. Vax pulls her close, trying to calm her, but she pushes him away. "Tell me what about this is _good_ , Scanlan! I'm all ears!"

He takes her anger and lets it roll past him, and Vax can't help but be impressed. It is a bad moment. It will pass, and once she quiets, Scanlan's voice is calm, reasonable, pacifying as he speaks.

"Yes, good. It's a good thing you're out of spells, because _we all need to rest_ and I don't want to find out what would happen to you if you tried high level magic in your state right now. I've lost one friend today. I don't want to lose another," he says, calm and even, and Keyleth immediately deflates, curling into Vax's side. "I have a plan, but to do it we need to rest, and heal." He takes a moment to look around, meeting everyone's eyes to ensure they understand. Subtly, so nearly imperceptible that Vax wonders if he's the only one that notices, he skips looking at Percy. "Tomorrow, we go back to Whitestone, find Pike, and see what she can do. Hell, it won't even be a full twenty-four hours; we'll just sleep however long we need to, and then set out immediately. To do that, we all need to be at our best. Especially you, Keyleth. Percy is counting on you for this."

She sniffles and nods, and murmurs a quiet "Sorry." 

Scanlan shakes his head, dismissing it with a wave. "Emotions are running high right now; it's just another reason we need to take a bit of time." And with that, he turns to the log beside them and holds out his hand. 

After a moment, a shimmering door appears at his fingertips, almost appearing to be built into the log. Vex stands without a word, and despite the obvious strain, refuses to let anyone help as she lifts Percy into her arms and carries him into the mansion, walking straight through several spiritual servants as she does. Grog whistles at the sight, impressed, and shifts an unconscious Kynan into a better position over his shoulder. Keyleth trails after Vex, muttering something about making sure Percy's room is perfect for him, and Scanlan follows soon after. Grog moves to follow, but Vax stops him with a hand on his arm. 

"What happened here?" He asks, motioning to Kynan with his chin. 

"Well," Grog glances down at the boy, and jostled him again. "'E fought with Ripley against us, right? And now Percy's gone. All I know is you walked away, and then 'e was pointing 'is knife at 'is throat." The revelation sends a chill down Vax's spine, but Grog just chuckles darkly. "Little tosspot's not gettin' off that easy. Scanlan's got questions for 'im, and I wanna make 'im eat 'is own toes."

Vax looks at Kynan's face, and can still see that starstruck boy they'd first met; he sighs, and claps a hand to Grog's bicep. "I'll make you a deal, but first, you have to promise me something."

Grog frowns, interested in the deal but not sure about this condition. "Promise? Why?"

"Because, big guy," and Vax offers him his most persuasive smile. "The deal won't be good otherwise, and you won't get to humiliate and incapacitate me."

It's endearing to see Grog mouth out the syllables to 'incapacitate'. He narrows his eyes for a moment, before nodding. "Fine. What's this 'promise'?"

Vax knows it will be difficult asking, and even more so convincing Grog that it is the right thing to do, but he has to try. "Don't kill Kynan. He's been misled, just like we all have been at one point. It's true he owes us a great debt, but it's not one that can be repaid by his dying."

"Are you sure about that?" Grog grunts, and Vax can see it in his face that he's considering letting Kynan fall like a sack of bricks. "A life for a life; rather, a death for a death. That sounds pretty fair to me."

In all honesty, it sounds fair to Vax, too. He unconsciously slides his eyes over to the incongruous mess that used to be Anna Ripley, and shakes his head. He doesn't feel bad for her death, which is the scary part. He's too furious and stunned and empty to let any part of her end weigh on him. So he looks away, and instead thinks of his friends, and watching them be brought to the brink of unconsciousness again and again, and the one who didn't wake up at the end of it all. "There has already been far too much loss today. Let's not add another to our consciences." He pauses, before adding, "Besides, you haven't heard my deal yet."

Grog perks up a little, and there's a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "Fine. I promise not to kill the brat. What's the deal?"

Vax is already wincing internally and regretting everything, but— "Ask him your questions, torture him if you like. Just... try to keep it to a minimum, okay? Let him keep all his bits when you're through with him." He can tell that Grog isn't liking the idea, and Vax doesn't blame him. If it were anyone else, someone they didn't know, who hadn't idolized them, he would wholly support being rid of them. But this... He can't condone this. And some small part of him hopes that Percy would understand. "In return for doing this, Grog," Vax starts, "you can—"

"Are you gonna let me flick you in the nads again?" 

He comes up short for words. That hadn't been what he was going to offer, but... It was an idea. A painful one, but one that would be over in an instant. It seems a far more succinct trade than he'd been prepared to offer. "Well, I was gonna say you could draw dicks on my face for the next week, or make me wear my underpants inside out, but if that's what you want instead, sure."

A grin curls Grog's lips. "How about both? You let me flick you a few times in the berries, and wear your underoos outside your pants for the next..." He trails off, counting on his fingers and ending up with two. "...for the next twelve days. And I'll see to it 'e doesn't come to _too much_ harm."

Vax has no idea how two fingers equals twelve days, but he won't question it. "That almost sounds doable, but let me counter: you get two hits, one for each of 'em, and I'll wear my underpants outside for the entire day tomorrow. In front of whoever we end up running into, even if it's someone like Allura, or," and he hesitates, but forces himself to say it, "Gilmore." If it was anyone else, he'd be fine, but to embarrass himself in front of Shaun... Still, it was toward a good purpose. In the long run, Grog might actually be losing out, but he doesn't really need to know that. He turns up the persuasion, trying to make it sound as reasonable as possible. "One or the other sounds about equal to what I'm asking; if you want more, I'll have to ask you not to hurt Kynan at all."

"Not at all? Pff, there's no fun in that." There's silence for a while then. Vax imagines he can almost see the gears turning in Grog's skull as he considers it. Or, more accurately, a mouse pushing a stone in circles. Still, after a few minutes, Grog holds out one meaty hand. "Deal."

They shake on it, and just in time.

"Oi," Scanlan calls from inside the mansion, "Are you coming in, or not? I'd like to get this show on the road as soon as possible."

"On the way!" Vax calls back, before turning back to Grog. "How about you put him in... I don't know, the training room, or — does this place even have a dungeon? I'm sure Scanlan can whip something up. Go put him away, and then you can end my bloodline with me." 

Grog gives a hearty laugh, clapping him on the back as he strides through the entryway. Vax takes a moment to look back around the area. It is the site of one of the worst battles they've had, to date. Mixed feelings roil around in his chest, both proud and grieving; when his eyes land on the dark red spot Percy had lain, everything goes quiet, and a cold spreads through him. It takes a few minutes before he comes back to himself, shaking his head to clear it of the fog that had moved in. He bends to scoop up Percy's fallen guns, and a moment later, closes the door behind him.

* * *

Dinner is terse, near silent. Grog is sitting, pulling splinters out of his palms from the giant log Scanlan had, for some reason, asked him to drag downstairs. They make it about halfway through the meal before Vax realizes that more than one place setting is empty; Keyleth looks down at the table, her eyes once again shining as she admits, "She wouldn't leave Percy." 

The entire room falls silent then, the already somber mood further darkening. Vax stands after a moment, fills a plate with as much chicken and as many dinner rolls as he can manage, and grabs a cup and pitcher of water. It's precarious for a few minutes as he tries to balance it all, before he startles at the spiritual servant floating by his side, who takes the cup and pitcher from him before they spill onto the ground. Together, they make their way to Percy's room, where Keyleth had tearily explained she'd left both Percy and Vex. 

Upon reaching the door, Vax hesitates. He's known for a while now how his sister and Percy felt about each other. He doesn't know whether or not she'll take too kindly to being disturbed, but his wounds still sting to remind him, and so he sighs as he pushes through. No matter her feelings on it, she'll need to eat and rest. His mouth is open, prepared to speak; instead, he freezes two steps into the room. It's dark, save for a few candles on the nightstand and a chest of drawers. Despite his darkvision, it takes Vax a few seconds to adjust to the light. Once he does, what spirits he'd managed to muster immediately plummet. 

Percy has been laid on the bed, one arm folded over his midriff. If Vax didn't know any better, if he could ignore the fact he's still wearing his coat and boots, he could almost believe that Percy is just sleeping. His other arm is laid out on the bed beside him; Vex has pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and has that hand clasped in both of her own. She's curled over it, elbows on her knees and Percy's hand pressed to her forehead. Vax's heart climbs up into his throat, and he makes sure to cause a small ruckus before continuing forward. As soon as he starts, Vex jumps and drops Percy's hand so that it's laid on the bed instead, though her fingers are still curled around it. Vax tries to smile as he approaches her. 

"Hey sis," he murmurs, and nods to the spiritual servant that it can follow after. Vax sets the tray on the bedside table before taking the cup and pitcher from the servant, dismissing it as he pours out some water. He holds it out to her, and she shakes her head. "Come on. You need to eat something."

Vex doesn't look up at him, and doesn't take the cup. "I'm not hungry." 

A nearby candle flickers, and Vax can see that her cheeks are shiny and wet again. She sniffles, quietly, and Vax can't help but want to pull her into his arms and hold her until everything is better. That's the problem, though: nothing will be better, not if tomorrow goes badly. There is no helping the present, and the future is too tenuous to promise. There is nothing he can say, and Vax hates how helpless he feels. The only thing he can do is set the cup down, and grip onto Vex's shoulder. She leans into him, though she still doesn't look away from Percy. 

After a moment, she speaks. 

"I'm tired, brother," and her voice is just that: exhausted, diminished. "I had forgotten, you know? I forgot how it felt to lose someone. We lost mother so long ago..." Her fingers tighten on Percy's almost imperceptibly. "And now we've lost so much, once more." And there's a long pause before, "I never wanted to feel this way again."

Vax studies Percy's face for a while, trying to reconcile the fact that this is _death_ , not just a deep, peaceful sleep. Gods only know that Percy, of all of them, could have used the rest. Stupid that this might be how he gets it. After a moment, he has to close his eyes, look away. "I know. Neither did I." 

There's a short sigh, before Vax gently shakes Vex's shoulder. "We're going back to Whitestone tomorrow. Pike is going to do her damnedest to bring him back. I won't lie to you and tell you that everything will be fine, but..." A brief shake of his head, before leaning to kiss her on the crown of hers. "We will do everything in our power, all right? That includes you. So eat, rest, regain your strength. If not for me, if not for yourself, do it for Percy. Tomorrow's going to be a tough one."

Silence. For a moment, Vax wonders if she's going to argue it with him. It's true that there isn't much they can do to help tomorrow; still, there may be something, anything, and he knows that whatever it is, Vex will want to do it. Finally, finally, she nods slowly. "All right."

"Good." In all honesty, he's not sure she'll actually do it. He's not sure how to be here, to help her, if she won't look at him, but there isn't much he can do about that. So Vax settles for kissing the top of her head once more, before stepping away. "I'm gonna get some sleep. Give a holler if you need anything, yeah?"

An almost imperceptible nod. Vax waits, to see if there's anything else, and after a few minutes, tries not to sigh. He shouldn't expect too much. It's not fair of him to do so. He knows how Percy had been fond of his sister, and that Vex loved him dearly; he should give her time to grieve. So he turns, heads toward the door. His hand touches the doorknob, and hears, near unintelligible, from behind him:

"Thank you."

He closes his eyes. "Of course, sis. Let me know if you need anything."

Vax shuts the door as quietly as he can behind him, pauses, has to lean against the wall next to the door for a moment. He'd thought the empty space at the table, the obvious lack of Percy's presence, would be the worst thing about this. He was wrong, he learns.

No, the worst bit is how empty his sister is; he hadn't realized that in losing Percy, he's lost them both.

Vax's footsteps are near to silent as he trudges back down the hall, headed toward his room. He passes by an open door, a light shining out from behind; Scanlan is sitting by a desk, furiously poring through books. Vax contemplates intruding for a moment, then thinks better of it. He forgets sometimes that Scanlan is older than the rest of them, and that he can show a maturity that the rest of them may need to rely on. He's glad for it, doubts that their plan for the next day would be possible without his mansion or his deceptively calm head. Whatever Scanlan is working on right now, he won't disturb him. Next, Vax passes a door behind which rings the sound of wood being ripped in half; for a second, he considers sneaking in and shaving off half of Grog's beard while he sleeps again. Not tonight, he decides, after maybe a little too long. Today has been difficult enough. Pranks can come once they've got Percy back.

A deep breath fills his lungs once he stands in front of his own bedroom door, and Vax glances back the way he'd come. Should he go back to his sister? Is there even anything he can do for her right now? Not that he can think of, not right now. He can't force her to rest, and he doesn't know of anything he can say to lift her spirits. All he can do is be there for her, and if she doesn't exactly want him there, he can wait.

Vax shakes his head. It's a dark line of thought, with no productive end. It can wait, he decides, until the events of tomorrow, until they learn whether or not Pike can help. He does wish they could send word ahead, to try to prepare her, but Pike has always been the strongest of them; he knows that, though she may be just as shaken, she'll take whatever action she needs to. It gives him comfort to think about it, to know that they're all doing the most they can. 

When he opens the door, he looks up and pauses. Keyleth is sitting on the edge of his bed, her hands clasped between her knees. Her voice trembles as she looks at him. "Can I stay with you tonight? I don't— I don't want to be alone."

"Kiki." Vax nudges the door closed behind him, striding over to the bed and pulling her into a hug. "I don't want to be alone either."

They fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms, Keyleth's tears drying on the pillow.

* * *

The next morning seems to pass within only a few minutes, for all the rush that goes on. Scanlan's servants have apparently been working through the night to build a rudimentary stretcher from the log, and Percy has been laid atop it. Vex is sat right next to him, a plate with a near-untouched chicken breast and some eggs in front of her. Grog has Kynan, this time conscious, with his hands bound behind his back, and Scanlan takes a few moments to survey and ensure they're all prepared. At first, Vax doesn't understand the need for the stretcher, when Grog could just carry Percy. It takes him far too long to realize: they're going back to Whitestone, Percy's home. For Grog to carry him, as if he were a princess or a sack of luggage, would be an unforgivable irreverence. If they can save him this small dignity, it is the least they can do. Vax feels a small, somber smile curl his lips, and makes a note to buy Scanlan at least three rounds when all this is over with.

He steps outside, wincing as the glass crunches beneath his boots, tiny pinpricks that he'd forgotten about. They're all going to need to see a cobbler once they're back. A touch to his back jolts him out of his thoughts, but when he turns, it's Keyleth, and she kisses his cheek as she steps past him. "Everyone's ready. We're gonna do this."

Vax nods. "We are. And every part of me hopes and prays that it will work."

Keyleth takes a deep breath, lets her somehow endless font of positivity steel her spine as she stands a little straighter. "It _will_ , Vax. I know Pike can do it." And then she pauses, deflates just a little bit, as she looks back toward a commotion beyond the shimmering, open door. 

Grog is insisting that he should be the one to carry Percy's stretcher, and Scanlan is arguing that if Kynan makes a break for it, Grog would be the best one to deal with him. Vax knows Kynan won't run, and even then Grog is far from the best, but doesn't say anything. It wouldn't help. Alongside it all, Vex is sitting silently, smoothing out Percy's clothes, wiping off as much blood and dirt as she can. Again and again, Vax's heart is broken, and Keyleth slips her hand into his as they watch her. 

"I went to check on them— her, this morning. Vex was still there, sleeping on the edge of the bed. I don't think she left that chair all night." Keyleth turns her face into Vax's shoulder. "Percy is one of my best friends, and I couldn't even bear to be in the room for too long." There's a quiet, broken laugh. "Y'know, I think he'd think this was a poetic end. But I don't want it to be. For his sake, and for ours."

She sniffles, and Vax gently musses her hair a little. "You're not going to start crying again, are you?" he teases, offering a soft grin.

Keyleth laughs, this time with a little more heart in it. "No. I'm all cried out. Now's the time for action, and for fixing this."

"You're damn right." 

As if on cue, Vex speaks up, loud enough for her voice to carry out to where Keyleth and Vax stand. "That's enough arguing! If we're going to do this, let's do it. Percy is waiting for us. My brother can keep watch of Kynan. Let's _go_."

Scanlan and Grog look over at her, obviously surprised; Vax wonders if she's spoken to anyone other than him since yesterday, and now thinks the answer might be 'no'. He gives Keyleth one last peck on the cheek. "Do your thing, you incredible druid." Then he claps his hands, stepping back into the mansion. "All right, where's this prisoner I'm guarding?"

Grog shoves Kynan forward, and Vax is glad he's close enough to catch him; at some point in time, the laces on his boots have been tied together, and Vax rolls his eyes at the child-level prank. Probably Grog, he assumes, and is surprised to hear Scanlan _tsk_ as he kneels to undo and redo them properly. Outside, he can hear cracking and groaning and the oddly beautiful tinkling of glass: Keyleth must be growing a tree for them to run through. Even more important for Kynan to be able to move properly. A few minutes later, she pokes her head back through the doorway to let them know she's ready. Vex takes her place at the head of Percy's stretcher, Grog assuming his place at the foot; they step outside and take up position behind Keyleth, to be the second party through the tree. Vax and Kynan prepare themselves third, and Kynan whispers a near-silent _thanks_ for righting his boots as they wait. Scanlan steps out last, closing the door to the mansion and waving it away behind them.

"Are we ready?" Keyleth's voice is clear and strong, no wavering or unsteadiness to betray her. 

"Yes," Vex says, at the same time Scanlan answers with a, "Make it so!"

Keyleth closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and setting a hand on the new, gorgeous, and huge oak tree that's sprouted up. After a moment, a glow shines out from beneath her palm, radiating outwards to encompass nearly the entire trunk. "Go!" she shouts, and they shuffle on through.

Idly, Vax wonders if he'll be able to get used to traveling via plant. He's certainly used to long days, weeks on the road; having his feet slowly cut to bits in one moment, before tramping across soft grass the next, is always a strange, miraculous sensation. The group pours out of the Sun Tree, and Scanlan immediately takes the lead. He and Keyleth make quick work of any passersby, shooing them out of the way so Grog and Vex can get to the castle as quickly as possible. Vax wonders if he should go with them, to try to explain to Cassandra and Pike what's happened, before thinking better of it. Scanlan is there; when he's not being ridiculous, there's a good chance he's the most sensible and diplomatic of all of them. He'll make sure that things go smoothly. 

So instead, Vax breaks off from the group at the castle gates, steering Kynan through stone halls toward the dungeons. The boy whimpers, but otherwise doesn't protest; Vax can't blame him, and any anger he felt yesterday seeps away. The guards let them through with little explanation, only needing to see Vax's face, and as he ushers Kynan into a cell, he pats his shoulder. 

"It's all right, Kynan." He pulls out his keen dagger, slicing through the bindings around his wrists. "This is only temporary, and it's more for your protection than anyone else's. Cassandra is a fair ruler, who knows a thing or two about being led astray. Pike is…" Vax chuckles just a little. "Pike is probably the strongest of all of us, but I don't think she'll hold a grudge against you. Still, I doubt yours is a face they'll want to see so soon after finding out what's happened to Percy, so the safest place for you right now is here. Do you understand?"

Kynan nods, miserable and quiet. He rubs his wrists, looking around the cell and pacing back and forth in front of the bed. "I trust you, Vax'ildan. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." Vax thumps him on the arm before turning and leaving the cell. "I'll tell the guards not to let anyone else in here, and," with this he turns, looking back toward the guard station, "for gods' sakes, can we get the boy some light down here? He can barely see his own nose!" A guard comes running, lighting a couple more torches, before Vax closes and locks the cell. "Just sit tight, Kynan. All right? We'll get everything sorted, and I'll be back to check on you later."

There's a quiet, miserable _thank you_ preceding the _whumpf_ of something heavy dropping onto a mattress. Vax gives his orders to the guards, that no one is to enter Kynan's cell unless it's himself, before nearly running back upstairs. He finds Scanlan, Grog, and Keyleth outside of Percy's bedroom, the door closed and a low murmuring coming from within. Keyleth slips her hand into his as he slides up next to her, and he nods to the door.

"How'd they take it?" He asks quietly, squeezing her hand.

"Well," Scanlan starts jauntily. "Cassandra is angry we didn't bring Ripley back alive for her. I can't say I blame her, I'd probably want to kill the _bad_ doctor myself. Pike," he gets quiet, a little less spirited. "Pike made us promise to give her the whole story later, so that she could concentrate on the resurrection now." 

Grog crosses his arms over his massive chest, nodding with his chin toward the door. "Pike can do it. She can do anything. Just you wait."

Vax punches one of those arms with his free hand, tries not to wince at the feeling of punching stone. "Not to worry, big guy. I have full faith in our little monster. We all do."

There's a chorus of agreement in the hallway, that fades away into silence. They're all tense, nervous. After what feels like forever, Vex steps out of the room, tears in her eyes. She looks up at them, and nods to the door. 

"Pike's done, if you want to go in," she says, holding the door open. 

Vax isn't sure he wants to. The look on his sister's face, and the silence in the room — they terrify him, have him wondering if the spell worked. He doesn't think he could bear it if it didn't. But the longer he stands there, the more it becomes clear: he has to know. He has to know if he's truly lost a friend, and gained an enemy in the boy in the dungeons. He has to know if he's lost his sister, and the light in her eyes. Vax takes a deep breath, and steels himself to walk in.


	2. just live

Keyleth's grip on Vax's hand tightens for just a second before she lets go, and they all file into the room. Pike is sitting on a chair next to the bed, tiny beads of sweat starting to dot her brow. Cassandra is on the other side, one of Percy's hands clasped tight in her own as she murmurs to him. His coat and boots have been taken off, the blankets tucked in around him. They all line up around the sides of his bed, a tense hope in the air. This time, after a moment, Grog is the one to shatter it. 

"Oi!" he shouts, slapping the bottom of Percy's foot with a meaty hand. "You alive yet?"

There's shouting in response from most of the room; no one had quite been expecting that. Keyleth slaps Grog in the arm, and Cassandra hisses a sharp "what are you doing"; Pike grins at him, not at all surprised by her best friend, and Percy mutters a dark "that was quite unnecessary." Vax just shakes his head, saying "careful big guy, you don't want to kill him forever" as Scanlan tries to goad him into doing the other foot next. 

And then they all freeze, and look at Percy, who's still wincing a bit from the blow. He freezes too, his eyes going wide, as he looks around at the rest of them. A sharp frown crosses his brow. 

"I've missed something important, haven't I?" He asks nervously, at the same time Cassandra and Keyleth cry out his name. Vex just smiles, brushing the hair away from his forehead and kissing the newly bared spot. Vax is sure he's the only one who notices Percy's fleeting smile at the gesture before Keyleth and Pike have him covered in hugs. "I've definitely missed something," he chokes out from the swarm of bodies, and when he's finally freed, he sits up. "So is anyone going to fill me in, or am I going to have to use context clues?"

Grog is the first one to speak up again. "You got dead, and Pike brought you back" to which Percy mutters, "oh. Dear" and Scanlan interjects with "there's a bit more to it, but that is the abridged version." 

It's about all they manage to say before Cassandra stands. "Vox Machina." Everyone freezes as they look at her, and for a second Vax chides himself for forgetting what a presence she can be. "We are all thrilled to have my brother back safely, but it does no one any good to have you speaking over yourselves. I'll have to ask that one or two of you stay to fill us in, and the rest of you wait outside."

Grog starts to argue her proclamation, and Vax swears he can see some of his beard singed off under the glare she levels at him. They file out of the room, leaving Pike, Cassandra, Scanlan, and Keyleth at Percy's side; Vax considers asking his sister why she isn't in the room with them, and when he sees the look on her face, decides against it.

"Vex'ahlia," he murmurs as Scanlan and Grog retreat down the hall. She stops, finally looking at him, and he sighs at seeing the dark circles under her eyes. She might have slept, but she certainly didn't get any rest. Vax pulls her into a hug, and little by little, he feels her relax against him. There's a gentle kiss to her temple. "Go get some rest, sis. Percy's fine. We're all fine."

Vex laughs, and Vax hadn't realized how much he'd needed to hear it. There's a quiet snuffle against his shoulder. "Yeah. I think I might." She glances back toward the door. "You'll keep an eye on him, won't you? Just in case?"

There's a grin, and Vax musses her hair. "Sure. Now go. If you don't, you're going to end up looking like a raccoon, and Trinket won't recognize you. He might try to eat you, even."

"Impossible, he loves me," Vex proclaims. "He'll know who I am, no matter what I look like." She rolls her neck, and there's an audible pop. "Speaking of, though, I'm taking my bear and checking him over, he must have been so lonely in my necklace." She pats Vax's cheek as she walks past. "And don't think I didn't see you and Keyleth schmoozing, brother!"

"Shall we include you, next time?" He calls, and has to shudder at the thought. Halfway down the hall already, Vex mirrors the gesture. She turns a corner, and a moment later, Vax can hear the bear roaring. He smiles and shakes his head, an almost unbearable lightness floating through his chest.

A few minutes later, the door opens and Scanlan, Cassandra, and Keyleth step out. Cassandra's eyes are red, but her face is set, and she stands in front of them as he others trail past. Vax meets Keyleth's eyes over her shoulder; Keyleth winces just a little, and mouths _sorry_ as she goes. 

Cassandra wastes no time, and it's something Vax admires about her. "You have the prisoner in the cells?" she demands, arms crossed over her chest.

"Yes, ma'am," is his instinctive answer; only after he says it does Vax remember that Cassandra is probably only a little bit younger than he is. "He's safely tucked away; I've ordered the guards not to let anyone near him." And after a moment's pause, he adds, "That includes you, Cassandra."

"Hmph. He's lucky that Pike was able to help." She brushes her hand back through her hair, huffs at a stubborn lock that refuses to stay out of her face. "I think it's only fair for Percy to decide what happens with him. Don't you?"

"Absolutely." 

And with that, Cassandra strides away. Vax lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and then glances back into the room. Pike is leaning over the side of Percy's bed, his cheeks in her hands as she checks him over. Vax strides in to join them, just in time to hear Percy's insistent "I feel _fine_ , Pike, really."

"Yes, but I just want to be sure." Pike turns Percy's head this way and that, looking into each of his eyes and checking his pulse. She doesn't notice as Vax approaches and leans against one of the bedposts, but apparently her inspections have provided good enough results. "Promise me you'll let me know if anything changes? If you feel at all wonky, or...different."

Percy pauses. "Well, I certainly feel different." He shakes his head at the concern on her face. "In a good way, I assure you. I feel...lighter. Better, knowing that Ripley and Orthax are no longer of this world. Theirs was a partnership that should never have existed, and it relieves me to know it's ended."

Pike laughs, and it's a beautiful sound. She hugs Percy tight, before kissing his cheek. "You had us all worried, Percy. I'm so glad you're back."

There's a small, and for once, genuine smile as Percy pats her shoulder. "As am I. Thank you so much, Pike. I owe you more than I could ever repay."

"Naw," she smiles, and climbs off the bed, finally noticing Vax. "Oh! Hi Vax, I didn't see you. How're you feeling? Did you need healing, too?"

There's a warm smile at her. "No, I'm all right. Thank you, Pike. It's good to see you again, it feels like it's been ages."

"It does, doesn't it? You guys keep going off and having adventures without me! I'm beginning to think I should stick around more, if this is the kind of trouble you're getting into."

Vax has to physically keep himself from begging her to come journey with them again. She has important work to do here, he has to remind himself; having a cleric along would be helpful, but she has her own life and her own tasks to tend to first. "Our shenanigans can wait. You are always more than welcome to join us, whenever you're ready to."

She smiles at him, and honestly, Vax would not be surprised if her smile itself had healing abilities. She walks out of the room, saying something about _too much excitement before breakfast_ , and leaves the two of them be. For a moment, Percy and Vax just watch each other. Vax finds himself doing as his sister said: checking Percy over for any lingering signs of wrongness, for anything that might suggest he is anything less than hale and whole once again. He's not sure what Percy is seeking, but he hopes he finds it. Vax pulls up the chair Cassandra had been sitting on, dropping himself into it and sighing. 

"What a day, huh?"

"You're telling me," Percy murmurs. His hand has found its way to his chest, where the final bullet had pierced through him; Vax wonders if he realizes he's doing it. "I won't lie; I have thought often about death before. Before I met you, I dreamt of it so often that it felt more like a memory. I just never expected it to come about like this." His hand fists in the fabric of his shirt, knuckles turning white. "I am so, so lucky that Pike had a spell ready."

"No kidding." Vax pulls one of his daggers from his belt, twisting it between his fingers; it's good to have something to do with his hands, better than sitting idle. Silence reigns for the next few minutes, before he speaks up again. "Percival." There's a breath, and in that second, Vax knows that Percy thinks he knows what he's going to say, so he speaks quickly to head him off at the pass. "I'm glad you're still with us."

It is not, in fact, what Percy had expected him to say, and it leaves him speechless for a moment. "Thank you, Vax. I'm rather thankful, too."

"I told you, however," he continues, and Percy looks over at him, "that my sister's wellbeing is something I take very seriously. Do you remember that?"

Percy is quiet for a moment, frowning as he studies Vax's face and the way he fiddles with his dagger. "Yes. Of course I remember, why?"

Here, Vax pauses. He's not sure Vex wants him to say this, but it's something Percy needs to know. "I'm not sure the others noticed, but when we lost you — we lost her, too. My sister was, just a shell of herself. She would not leave your side. I think she was hoping that you would wake up." Percy's face is sombered now, silent contemplation across his face. Vax doesn't like this, but he has to press on. "I was... I was very scared, to be perfectly honest, that not only had I lost you, but I'd lost my sister, as well." 

That frown deepens, and after a moment Vax can see a realization dawn across Percy's face. "I hadn't— I have no intention or desire ever to hurt Vex'ahlia, Vax. If I could have avoided it, I would have. I'm so sorry."

"I know." Vax purses his lips, touching a fingertip to the tip of his dagger and letting it draw a pinprick of blood. "I don't blame you for it. Mostly. But please, be more careful next time, all right?" He puts the dagger away, looking up at Percy. "I know that we all like to joke and fuss and take stupid risks—"

"You seem to be a professional at that last one," Percy jabs quickly, and it earns him a grin.

"—but we are in a very real, very precarious, constant state of danger lately, and losing you cemented that fact for the rest of us." There's a sigh, and Vax scrubs a hand back through his hair. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is, death is no longer something strange and far-off. We've lost Tiberius, and we very nearly lost you, too. We all need to be a little more careful from now on. All right?"

Percy nods quickly. "Of course. That goes for you as well, you realize? I don't think Vex would survive it if you were gone." He takes a deep breath, and glares down at the bedding around him before shoving it away. "This is ridiculous, I feel like an invalid. I'm _fine_." As if to prove his point, he swings his legs over the side of the bed, and stumbles just a little before catching himself. "A little unsteady, but fine." 

Percy strides to a grand mahogany chest of drawers, pulling out new, clean clothes and changing quickly. Vax is glad of it; the shirt he's wearing still has bullet holes and bloodstains on it, and he makes a note to himself to have one of the castle's workers burn it later. Percy finds his coat, the one he'd been wearing during the fight, and clicks his tongue at the damage. It might not be repairable in its present state, but Vax can hear him muttering about trying to find someone to mend it anyway. He throws on a new coat and boots, before turning to Vax and gesturing toward the door.

"Will you tell me where your sister is right now?"

The question surprises him, though Vax feels like it probably shouldn't. He stands, dusting his hands off on his pants. "I think she said she was going to take a short rest. Why?"

Percy adjusts his glasses, and Vax has to admire the figure he makes, standing in the light shining in from a nearby window. He adjusts his cuffs, and says with a completely straight face, "I want to tell her I love her, and ask if she's alright with that." 

If he'd been surprised by the previous question, Percy's statement stuns Vax, and he watches with wide eyes as the de Rolo strides out of the room, asking the nearest servant where they'd last seen Vex'ahlia. It takes him a minute for his brain to catch up, before he darts out of the room after him.

"What are you talking about," he shouts after Percy's rapidly receding figure, " _I'm_ not alright with it!"

"Doesn't matter; you're not her!" Percy shouts back, disappearing around a corner.

Vax finds himself smiling, leaning against the door jamb. "Well. This can only end well," he mutters to himself. It's fine, though. Percy knows what Vax will do if he hurts Vex, and the gods only know that she can take care of herself, as well. Maybe this will turn out for the better, for both of them. He turns, walking in the opposite direction to find some proper food, and feels somehow better than he has in a long while.

**Author's Note:**

> this thing is 11 damn pages in total. 11 pages in size 10 calibri!! where does all that have any right coming from!! this was just supposed to be quick and tide me over until today's episode!!
> 
> are you as scared for this evening's episode as I am? come cry with me at [canniballistics](http://canniballistics.tumblr.com) on tumblr or [KIRKWALLMAN](http://twitter.com/kirkwallman) on twitter!


End file.
